I can't stand those hypocrites who say they don't want anyone to be miserable at their funeral. You know, the ones who insist on everyone singing "Always look on the bright side of life " as they are lowered into the earth.
When I die I want them to play that music from The Killing Fields and have Scott Walker singing "My Death".
Hankies will be provided on all the pews and anyone not dressed from head to toe in black will be turned away.
I'm a right stickler about things like that.