The Perfect Self

My mind is full of harmony,

My life is free of pain.
I'm joyous when the sun comes out,
Contented when it rains.

I used to be a wretched grouch,

Dependent and depressed
Until I learned to free myself
From other's needs and stress.

I've done shiatsu, yogic sex

And all the other trends.
My EQ's high. The quest to find
My true self never ends.

Feng shui is my latest thing

- My furniture's well placed.
I'm expert on relationships
(I've realised they're a waste)

I dumped my last three boyfriends

When they didn't suit my needs.
They weren't quite right emotionally
- I'll stick with cats and beads.

My so-called friends cold shoulder me

(They envy my good health)
But who cares, now I need no-one
Except my perfect self.